Missing A Lot...

sometimes when i sit alone, muhasabah diri or having relax time, i tend to flash back all the sweet past memories where i had when i was studying. not only the uni itself, but friends, studies, art activities, etc. Honestly, i've been missing UKM this lately. I miss to have fun time again as student, get involve with the activities and nasyid jamming.

eventho i was not ko-k student for nasyid; FI & Insyirah, but i could proudly say that my batch (2003-2007) had left a legacy for insyirah. Nasyid is my flesh and blood. i started singing when i was 6 yrs old and i became a vocalist since i was 10 years old and it never stop. started with nothing, it strengthen from year to year until now i suppose :) i still missing nasyid jamming and practice with FI & Insyirah' team. Sumtimes, i'm feeling like i wanna pursue my master at UKM, so that i would have opportunity to join again ARTISUKMA :p i just missed it. Miss very much. UKM also has given me opportunity to polish my taranum skill in tilawah. eventho it was quite late at that time ( i just participated when i was in 3rd year), but i was so valuable whereby that's how i met again my godsister, Kak malina a.k.a Kak lin in one of tilawah IPTA competation where at that time, i was representing UKM whereby she represented UIAM. Alhamdulliah! big give to me! after meeting her again, i never stop learning taranum again and i don't want to turn back again.

Other than that, my silat's friends! oh please, i really miss gelanggang silat. I suppose i have to struggle so much if i want to get serious again in silat. it's getting fade as i'm not practicing so much the technique after i graduated. Sorry cikgu, i miss silat so much, but i have let some ilmu goes away from me. I wish i could learn from the scratch again.

being a student is the most wonderful time in my life especially University life. Adik2, never let your time in Uni running away just like that! And after quite sumtrimes, u'll realize how regret u were because i doesn't learn sumthing other than study! come one, have life. eventho i was student at that time, i still can enjoy every moment of it. practicing at DECTAR, studying at PTSL, going to pasar malam, etc. so many things! i hope i could turn back time, make it more wonderful and make it to the max but i know the time will not be back to us. I know i becoming more adult and i have to hurry or time will leave me wasted just like that. Time is like a money and ppl now are become materialistic from time to time. no more work because of Allah or Ibadah, but it becomes work because of money and i have to admit it. so poor, so sad to face the reality. however, i cannot run from the reality because that's what have been set by the ppl nowadays.

Slowly i learn to accept it but most of the time i feel devastated. if i could, i want to let go my current job and do what i like; become an artist. not artist in terms of being a singer, or actress, but my heart is so attached with Malay arts and culture; i.e. Malay traditional dancing, theater, Asli music, silat, etc. but i know i couldn't afford that. money is everything and i know i have to work not for myself, but also for my family. insyaallah, i started to like my job and i'm hoping i'll continue this job til my last breath.

but if u ask me, if i have a choice, what would be? i will definitely answer, " I wanna turn back to Uni life, being a very active student in malay arts and excel in study at the same time" :)